


A Good Day to be a Guy

by Codexfawkes



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adult Content, Discussion of Sex Toys, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Implied Smut, Implied Use of Toys, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Tony needs an Adult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-16 23:08:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8121202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Codexfawkes/pseuds/Codexfawkes
Summary: “My favorite toy store is in the East Village, I am totally running out of essentials woman. Oh my god, we should have a day of lingerie and sex toy shopping.” Darcy told her starting to sound excited.“Sometimes it really is great to be an adult isn’t it?” Pepper asked smirking.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing. Any characters used from the Marvel universe and any quotes from anywhere are not mine. Joss is Boss.

“I cannot believe my favorite underwire gave up the ghost in the middle of a fundraiser.” Darcy groaned flopping down onto a couch in the common area of Avengers Tower.

“We should go shopping tomorrow, there’s this fabulous boutique in the East Village that I absolutely love.” Pepper suggested stretching out her long legs, relieved to be barefoot and in her favorite pair of shorts again.

“My favorite toy store is in the East Village, I am totally running out of essentials woman. Oh my god, we should have a day of lingerie and sex toy shopping.” Darcy told her starting to sound excited.

“Sometimes it really is great to be an adult isn’t it?” Pepper asked smirking.

“It really is,” Darcy agreed grinning back at her.

“So we hit up my two favorite stores, because if you’re talking about the one I think you are it really is fantastic, then lunch and the spa?” Pepper suggested as Tony and Clint crept a little closer behind them.

“Well, if you’re feeling adventurous we could make this the perfect storm of pre-awesome sex and go to a strip club.” Darcy offered with a mischievous grin, cutting her eyes to the side to let Pepper know they had an audience. Pepper’s answering smirk told her the older woman was well aware of that.

“I could be amenable to this idea Miss Lewis, do you think we should invite the guys?” Pepper asked.

“Tony and Clint? No way, they’d totally ruin it.” Darcy said with a huff.

“Actually I was thinking Steve, he could carry everything and wouldn’t make childish comments.” Pepper replied.

“He’d com-bust from embarrassment in the first store. I say we forget Clint and Tony, cut Steve in half and take Natasha.” Darcy countered.

“Good point, should we invite Jane too?” Pepper asked trying not to laugh at the distressed sound Tony had made at being refused entrance to the shopping trip.

“Normally I’d say yes but she’s in full on Science!Mode for at least the next three days. Science stops for no vibrator.” Darcy answered.

“Oh well, we’ll just have to make another day of it once she’s out of her science blinders.” Pepper said.

“Plus Jane would balk at the strip club, we’d have to get her to drink tequila at lunch and that’s a ridiculously slippery slope with her. A little tequila has her loose, a little bit more has her shedding clothes and trying to grind on my thigh. Not something I really want to repeat.” Darcy added. 

Tony let out a loud snort of laughter, finally giving them a reason to turn around and look at the two men who had been creeping closer since Darcy had first mentioned her bra.

“It’s not nice to eavesdrop,” Pepper admonished.

“Counter proposal ladies, for your consideration. The four of us, lingerie and toy shopping followed by dinner and your choice of adult entertainment. Then back here to the tower to part ways for the remainder of the evening, all expenses covered by me of course.” Tony offered silkily taking a hand of each of them and pressing a kiss to Pepper’s palm and another to the back of Darcy’s hand.

“I don’t know Tony, you guys are team mates. Wouldn’t it be weird to know that much about Clint’s sex life?” Darcy asked throwing a concerned glance at Pepper.

“We’re men, it’s fine.” Tony dismissed with a grin.

“What about you, are you comfortable with Tony knowing that much about us?” Darcy asked looking at her boyfriend.

“As long as he keeps any over the top comments about you to himself, I’m cool.” Clint answered grinning at her.

“Define over the top.” Tony said looking at Clint appraisingly.

“Tony,” Pepper said in a warning tone.

“Not being a dick, just trying to set parameters.” Tony replied.

“Over the top is anything you’d deck me for if I said it about Pepper.” Clint answered after a moment’s thought. The women exchanged a look as their significant others settled down on chairs opposite them.

“Okay you two jackasses, if we agree to this there will be rules. Rules we will begin to lay out tonight and reserve the right to add to tomorrow. Also you will get one warning to straighten up and fly right before we call a driver to pick your asses up and continue on without you.” Darcy told them.

“Rule number one being there will be no PDA beyond hand holding and short, closed mouth kisses. The kisses will only be allowed on the hands, cheek, and lips. And yes Tony, cheek and lips means the ones on my face and not anywhere else.” Pepper says.

“Agreed.” Clint said answering for both of them.

“Rule number two is there will be no macho, I’m a bigger sex god than you pissing matches. This is not a competition, you ruin our good time by trying to make it all about you and you’re gone.” Darcy tells them getting a nod of agreement from Pepper.

“Rule number three is you will act like adults. There will be no feeling up the lingerie or sword fighting with dildos like you’re twelve. These are stores Darcy and I like and want to be able to continue shopping in. Not to mention we really don’t need the story of Ironman and Hawkeye playing with sex toys together hitting the tabloids.” Pepper said.

“Agreed, but you have to say dildo again.” Tony told her with a smirk.

“Dildo,” Pepper responded blandly rolling her eyes.

“Okay one warning, no PDA, no macho bullshit, and don’t act like we’re twelve. Anything else before Tony says something to make you change your minds completely?” Clint asked. Pepper and Darcy looked at each other for a long moment before shaking their heads.

“No, that’s all for now.” Pepper said.

“Fantastic, we’ll meet in the garage at one tomorrow afternoon. This is gonna be great.” Tony enthused grinning broadly.

 

Not long after they reached an accord Clint followed Darcy back to their apartment, wandering into the bedroom ensuite with her to brush their teeth and get ready for bed.

“So what essentials are you running out of?” Clint wondered curiously.

“Well we are almost completely out of lube, that massage oil you like for after Thor throws you around is gone as of yesterday, and that throat spray I use is just about gone too.” Darcy explained.

“Throat spray?” Clint ask confused.

“That stuff I use right before I go down on you to numb my throat. Unless you thought I naturally didn’t have a gag reflex?” Darcy asked raising an eyebrow at him.

“That’s what that’s for? Huh, I just thought it was to make things taste better or something.” Clint said with a shrug.

“You are a woefully clueless man, but I love you anyway.” Darcy said putting her toothbrush away with a chuckle.

 

The next afternoon Darcy and Clint met Tony and Pepper in the Avengers private garage where Happy was waiting for them.

“Happy, please tell me Tony didn’t make you come in on a Saturday just to drive us around?” Darcy asked concerned.

“Pepper told me your plans for the day and I offered, we have a bet on how long these two will last before I’m called in to haul them away.” Happy explained with a grin.

“Such faith in me, my old friend,” Tony drawled.

“I am your old friend, that’s why I know you so well,” Happy pointed out with a smirk as he opened the back door of the town car. “Ladies first,” he insisted. Pepper, then Darcy slid into the back seat followed quickly by Tony and Clint. Traffic was slow moving but eventually they arrived at the lingerie boutique and Happy stopped the car. “Call me when you’re ready to check out and I’ll meet you here,” Happy reminded them before they got out of the car. Darcy thanked him for the ride and they all headed into the shop.

Despite wanting to be a part of the trip, Clint felt pretty awkward standing around in a store full of sexy under things and such. Darcy had headed right for her preferred style bra, and Pepper over to a wall of bath and body products. Tony headed deeper into the store, what he was looking for was anyone’s guess. Clint lingered near Darcy, not wanting to look like a creep.

“Which one do you like better, the pink with the black lace or the blue with the white lace?” Darcy asked holding up two bras. Clint reached out to feel the material without thinking, only to freeze, would that count as breaking one of the rules? Seeing his hesitation Darcy chuckled lightly and grinned. “Babe it’s okay if I ask for an opinion to feel the fabric. We meant actual groping, like grabbing bra cups as if they were full of breasts and not air type of stuff.” Darcy assured him.

“Oh, good, I just, didn’t want to be creepy,” Clint explained with a shrug. 

“To be honest, it’s not you I was worried about,” Darcy confided softly. Clint grinned in relief, his whole body relaxing. “So, pink or blue?” she asked again shaking the bras at him.

“Why not get them both, I mean Tony’s paying right?” Clint pointed out.

“I know he meant it, but I’m not sure how I feel about Tony paying for my bras.” Darcy hesitated.

“Okay, then what if I buy the pink one and you get the blue one? Since I’ll be the one other than you that benefits from them.” Clint offered.

“You would look pretty great in this color,” Darcy said contemplatively, holding the bra up to him.

“Not quite what I meant but if it gets you going, sure,” Clint agreed with a shrug and a smirk.

“I may just hold you to that, let’s keep looking then I’ll try these on. You can help me choose matching panties.” Darcy added leading him toward a table full of underwear. Clint happily followed her, much more relaxed with something to focus on. Picking out several pairs of panties they moved toward the fitting rooms. Clint settled onto the couch with the underwear and Darcy’s purse as she talked to the woman in charge of the little rooms. Just as she was unlocking the door for Darcy, Tony appeared with a nightie on a hanger and held it out to her.

“Try this one Darce, it’s your size and I bet it looks fantastic,” Tony instructed.

“How do you know her size?” Clint demanded annoyed.

“I’ve bought lingerie for enough women to be able to figure these things out in a glance Barton, it’s a talent.” Tony defended mildly, shaking the hanger at Darcy. “Seriously, try it on,” Tony insisted.

“You really should, Tony has fantastic taste in lingerie” Pepper weighed in walking over to join them with an arm full of stuff to try on. Darcy took the garment from him, and promised to tell them if she liked it, before disappearing into the little room. The employee named Anna, got Pepper into a room and offered Tony and Clint mimosas. Figuring the ladies would take a while, and mindful of Pepper’s called out warning of only having one, the guys accepted the drinks and settled in to wait.

“Clint,” Darcy called out.

“Yeah babe?” he answered.

“Do me a favor, and get me these in a triple D, the cup size for this brand seems to run a bit small,” she said holding the bras up over the top of the cubical.

“Oh, I can do that for you ma’am,” Anna said, taking the bras and disappearing.

“Ha, knew I was right, you are a double d,” Tony crowed. Clint whapped him on the back of the head. “What was that for?” Tony demanded annoyed.

“Dude, women get so much shit for their cup sizes, I don’t want either of them feeling self-conscious.” Clint whispered. Tony looked at him consideringly before nodding.

“For the record,” Tony told him softly, “Pep is incredibly comfortable in her own skin and I adore everything about her delectable body. However, your point is well taken.” Tony finished. They settled down and seconds later Anna returned with the bras for Darcy and they stopped talking. Darcy finished first, seeing as she was only trying on three things it wasn’t surprising, and Anna was instantly attentive when she walked out the door.

“How did everything work out for you?” Anna asked.

“Great thank you,” Darcy replied politely before heading to the guys. “Well Tony, I gotta admit, you picked a really nice baby doll, it’s perfect.” Darcy told him smiling.

“I have my uses,” Tony smirked, “so what else are you getting?” he asked glancing at the nightie and two bras.

“This is it,” Darcy replied.

“No seriously, what else?” Tony asked.

“Seriously, I’m good,” Darcy insisted.

“No, look,” Tony said standing up, putting his mostly empty glass on the side table, “you have to get more than three things. I’m paying remember, this, this is nothing, come on get with the program Lewis. Pampering, this whole thing is about pampering you and Pepper. You both put up with a lot of crap from me, her as the light of my life, runner of my company, provider of my nookie; and you as my chief nerd herder, runner of my lab, and baker of tasty things. Come on kid, let’s give the black card a work out here.” Tony insisted.

“I thought this was all about you and Clint getting your foreplay on with your girlfriends?” Darcy challenged smirking.

“Yes, that’s what’s in it for us, but the pampering is what’s in it for you, keep up,” Tony shot back.

“I don’t need you to pay for me Tony, you don’t have to buy me things for me to like you,” Darcy told him softly. Tony stilled for a moment then narrowed his eyes at her.

“Nope, no emotional stuff, in fact to make it up to me for inflicting… **feelings** on to me, I demand you pick out at least five more things, not including the panties Legolas is holding for you. And you have to let me pay for it all.” Tony demanded.

“You’re a weird dude Stark,” Darcy chuckled shaking her head at him.

“No shit kid, now go shopping, and take Barton with you,” Tony directed before dropping back on the little couch. Darcy just shook her head at him, but motioned for Clint to follow her anyway. Tony drained his drink and pulled out his phone, ready to wait for Pepper no matter how long it took.

 

Eventually, they were ready to check out, so Tony signaled Happy and when they exited the store laden down with bags he was there to help put them in the trunk. Then it was back in the car and off to the next store. This was the one Clint was really looking forward to, the sex toys. He and Darcy didn’t play too much with toys and he was more than happy to expand their sex life to include them. Tony led the way into the store, just as eager as Clint to look over the selection. Darcy and Pepper took a side trip to pick out things they already used, like lube and massage oil, getting into a discussion about the different flavors and stimulant options of the various products. The guys ended up roaming the aisles on their own, each one of them wanting to get an idea of the stores options before narrowing down suggestions for their ladies.

The two women places their choices in the store provided fabric bags so they wouldn’t have to juggle things, and set out to find their companions. Passing a case displaying violet wands and tens kits Darcy paused looking them over.

“I’ve always wanted to try it,” she confessed to Pepper.

“Why haven’t you then?” Pepper wondered.

“Well, I mean look at the price, I’ve only been getting paid for two years, and getting rid of all my credit card debt and the backlog on my student loans paid off was more important.” Darcy explained with a shrug. 

“Fair enough, you should get one then, it’s on Tony after all. You know he likes to spoil people he cares about.” Pepper pointed out.

“Is it odd that I feel less weird about Tony paying for sex toys than I did about him paying for bras and panties?” Darcy wondered. Pepper laughed nudging the other woman in amusement.

“Actually, with Tony, that makes perfect sense,” Pepper agreed. “So which one are you more interested in, a tens kit or a violet wand?” Pepper wanted to know.

“I think the violet wand,” Darcy answered nodding.

“Then you should get it, look this one glows purple, that’s perfect for Clint.” Pepper pointed out. An employee saw them looking over the case and approached them with an easy smile.

“Can I help you ladies with anything?” she asked, her long hair done up in what seemed to be millions of tiny braids, some of which had bright purple strands running through them.

“Your hair is amazing,” Darcy complimented.

“Thank you,” the woman with the name tag that said Freddie replied, her smile widening.

“My friend here was thinking about getting her first violet wand, can you recommend one that’s good for beginners?” Pepper asked.

“Sure,” Freddie said happily, taking Darcy through the different options and uses of a violet wand. In the end Darcy chose the one Pepper had pointed out, and it was added to her bag of purchases. Thanking Freddie they moved on to see if they could track down their men. They found them near the back of the store staring at a wall of dildos, realistic looking ones that ranged from small to oh dear god no real dick should ever be that big.

“I bet if Hulk ever lost his pants, that’s what it would look like,” Tony said pointing at a huge dildo that made Darcy wince at the sight of it.

“I really hope we never find out,” Clint commented with a shudder.

“I hope that’s a joke item, because damn that’s terrifying.” Darcy said watching them start in surprise.

“Any particular reason you boys are dildo shopping? No judgement,” Pepper added.

“Just checking things out,” Tony replied easily. “And what it that long box there missy?” Tony asked pointing at Darcy’s bag.

“A violet wand,” Darcy answered easily.

“Really, awesome,” Clint offered grinning.

“I was thinking, since Darcy is buying something she always wanted to try but hasn’t I should too. Come on Tony, you should help me pick one out.” Pepper directed him.

“Fantastic, what are we trying out?” Tony asked as they walked away.

“Pegging kits,” Pepper clarified breezily.

Clint choked back a laugh at the way Tony froze for a moment before following Pepper down another aisle.

“What about you sweetheart, you want to get anything else?” Clint wanted to know.

“Well, since I picked this out, why don’t you pick out something? Come on, what’s your fantasy?” Darcy asked trailing a teasing hand across his chest.

“You, you’re my fantasy, everything about you,” Clint answered in a moment of brutal honesty. Darcy melted against him and captured his mouth in an all too brief kiss.

“You are so getting the blow job of your life later,” Darcy promised in a heated tone before pulling away from him. “You should still pick out a toy though,” she encouraged.

“Actually,” Clint started nervously, “umm, that…thing Pepper wanted to look at…” Clint trailed off with a light flush across his cheeks.

“Yeah?” Darcy asked an eager smile sliding over her face.

“Oh yeah,” Clint admitted his voice deepening at the thought.

“Oh hells yea, we are so getting one too then,” Darcy enthused grabbing his hand and heading in the direction Pepper had walked.

 

It took some time but eventually each couple picked out a kit they liked and Darcy chose to buy a glass plug with a jewel on the end and Pepper some anal beads, each woman promising to report how they liked their choices with the intention of a return trip with Jane and Natasha.  Tony valiantly bit back several jokes that would have gotten him expelled from the rest of the day, and led the party to the registers.

Happy picked them up again, the last of the bags going into the trunk and they headed for a restaurant Pepper had picked out. The restaurant served amazing seafood and Tony insisted on ordering oysters as an appetizer.

“They look disgusting,” Darcy complained, her nose crinkling in dislike.

“They look like balls of rubber in slime,” Clint added poking at one.

“Philistines, just try it, they’re aphrodisiacs,” Tony insisted.

“So is tequila, and I can guarantee a shot of Patron will taste better,” Darcy declared.

“I love you,” Clint said his eyes full off affection and attraction.

“Fine, we’ll get shots too,” Tony agreed raising his hand to signal their waiter. Pepper rolled her eyes and took a sip of her white wine. Still, she wasn’t going to complain, Tony had been remarkably well behaved all day. 

Once the shots had been delivered the group gave in and each shot an oyster followed quickly by a shot of tequila.

“Oh god, oh god, so gross. That is hands down the worst thing I have ever put in my mouth,” Darcy insisted making a face of discontent.

“Oh come on, you can’t expect me to believe that, you’re dating Barton,’ Tony taunted with a smirk.

“Hey, at least she knows where my dick has been, I sincerely doubt you know every place yours has,” Clint defended mildly, smirking right back.

“Fair enough, but, my dick is as reformed as the rest of me and has only played with Pepper for several years now,” Tony pointed out with a smug grin.

“Can we please stop talking about your dicks?” Pepper asked just as the waiter reappeared to take their order.

“I…I can come back…” the kid trailed off uncomfortably.

“Sorry Brad, can I call you Brad?” Tony asked.

“Ummm sure Mr. Stark, but my name is Peter,” Peter the waiter answered.

“Sorry, Peter, which, okay makes this even funnier, but I’m afraid my friend and I have been teasing our ladies, so it’s not her fault. Regardless, I think we’re ready to order,” Tony decided looking around at his companions. Once they’d ordered and Peter had moved on Pepper smacked Tony on the arm.

“You ass, we traumatized a teenager. You owe him such a big tip,” Pepper insisted.

“I always tip big,” Tony reminded her.

“I mean big for you,” Pepper replied.

“Looks like Pete’s about to have the night of his life,” Clint commented with a grin.

“Only second to losing his virginity,” Tony agreed clinking glasses with him. 

“Well, it could be worse, we could have had to send them home already,” Darcy pointed out diplomatically. Pepper exchanged a look with her and leaned in.

“I think I know where we should take them next,” Pepper told her.

“You mean that place Nat told us about?” Darcy whispered back grinning deviously.

“Exactly,” Pepper confirmed.

“I should text her, she’s gonna want video of this,” Darcy added lowly, before sliding to her feet.

“Where are you going?” Clint wondered.

“Ladies room, you coming Pepper?” she asked her friend.

“She will be later,” Tony answered cheekily.

“Don’t make me call Happy,” Pepper warned standing up. Clint smack Tony upside the back of his head as they ladies walked away.

“You ruin this for me Stark and I will make your life hell, I’ll get Nat to help,” Clint threatened.

“Geez, fine, dial it back Merida,” Tony complained rubbing the back of his head.

 

Pepper and Darcy returned to the table and not long after the food arrived. Tony toned it down for the rest of the meal, and as they walked outside gamely asked the two women what they had chosen for their entertainment.

“I already texted Happy the address, it’s not too far,” Pepper told him, kissing Tony’s cheek before sliding into the waiting car. 

They piled back into the car and Happy drove them to their last destination. The club wasn’t one either Tony or Clint were familiar with, but they were more than happy to follow the ladies lead. After Tony paid the cover charge, they walked into the darkened club. It was rather early on a Saturday night, just 9 o’clock, but the place was packed with women already. There were two different bachelorette parties happening and beyond the main stage where three guys were pulling off rip away tuxedos, there were pedestals with dancing men, and roaming male dancers grinding against women on the dance floor.

Pepper led them into the crowd on the dance floor, cutting her way through the crowd on the way to a reserved table near the stage. As they passed through the crowd, Tony and Clint were suddenly each flanked by a dancer, the men grinding on them as enthusiastically as they had the women dancing. The guys didn’t really know what to do, they didn’t want to be rude and shove the dancers off, it was their job. On the other hand this wasn’t exactly what they had planned.

“Having fun?” Darcy called out to them.

“This isn’t exactly what we had in mind babe,” Clint answered.

“Bad touch, bad touch, I need an adult!” Tony called out, pulling away from the dancer who had tugged on his belt suggestively.

“You are an adult,” Pepper laughed.

“I need an adultier adult,” Tony said wrapping his arms around her with a grin. “You gonna save me from the horny masses Miss Potts?” he wanted to know.

“Don’t I always?” she teased.

Clint pulled Darcy into his arms and smirked down at her. “You know that didn’t actually bother me right?” he asked.

“Of course, but it sure was pretty to watch,” Darcy agreed.

“If I was less of a greedy bastard I’d offer to have a threesome,” Clint told her.

“I don’t want a threesome, all I want is you,” Darcy said sincerely. “And that violet wand,” she added with a cheeky grin.

“Agreed, come one let’s get to the table,” Clint said nodding to where Tony and Pepper had disappeared to. They followed the other couple, ordered a round of drinks and settled in to watch the show. When the finale for the set they were watching came out the four of them burst out laughing. There on stage were four guys in skimpy costumes, each modeled after Captain America, Hawkeye, Ironman, and Thor respectively.

“Oh god, please tell me you knew about that,” Clint laughed gesturing at the stage.

“I may have had some inside information,” Darcy replied laughing as well.

“That’s incredibly impractical for power armor,” Tony chuckled.

“I don’t know, could be a good look for you,” Pepper tossed out with a smirk.

 

The four of them agreed to slip out after the Avenger number and it didn’t take long before they were back in the car. Roughly half an hour later Happy pulled into the garage and opened the trunk, stepping back to let Pepper and Darcy separate out the bags. A few minutes later they were all in the elevator heading for the residential floors. Happy got off first, and a few floors later Clint and Darcy exited the elevator, leaving Pepper and Tony to ride the rest of the way up to the penthouse. 

“I gotta say, I enjoyed that creative bit of revenge at the end there. The Avengers strip tease was slightly uncomfortable while still appealing to my ego, masterfully done,” Tony complimented tugging Pepper into his arms.

“Thank you, I’ve gotten pretty good at handling you,” Pepper pointed out running her hand across the front of his pants.

“You can handle anything you want,” Tony all but purred.

“Oh, I will,” Pepper promised, sliding her hands to squeeze his ass.

“Be gentle with me,” Tony faux pleaded as he tilted his head up to kiss her.

 

Clint carried the bags into their bedroom and dropped them on the bed, before sitting on it himself.

“Today was fun, long, but fun,” he commented kicking off his sneakers.

“It was, I’m glad we did it,” Darcy agreed, pulling out her new clothes and starting to cut off the tags so she could wash them.

“So do I get a private fashion show, you know since I was a good boy?” Clint teased starting to empty the other bags.

“Well, maybe, once everything is washed,” Darcy conceded.

“I’m glad you decided to get this stuff, I like the idea of exploring with you,” Clint told her sincerely.

“Me too, hell you’re the only guy I’ve even consider exploring anal with. The only one I’ve trusted enough,” Darcy confessed.

“That something you want? For me to do that with you, make love to you that way? Or, just me?” he asked holding up the pegging kit.

“Both is good, we should do both,” Darcy approved.

“Fuck, you really are perfect for me,” Clint breathed happily before leaning in to kiss her.

 

The next morning when everyone shuffled into the kitchen for team brunch they found printed out pictures of Tony and Clint from the night before, each with a stripper in a tight leather outfit grinding on their thigh. In the pictures Tony looks confused and mildly alarmed by the dancers hand clearly reaching for his belt, while Clint on the other hand just looks amused. Darcy and Pepper are visible in the background laughing at them. 

“Really?” Tony asked dryly, glaring at Nat who was sitting primly on one of the breakfast bar stools sipping her coffee.

“I thought you’d like a souvenir, did you enjoy the finale?” she asked sweetly. Clint burst out laughing and leaned into Darcy, grinning at his best friend.

“It was awesomely bad, thanks,” he answered for them all.

“Glad you enjoyed it,” Nat let him know with a nod.

“Alright, enough about Tony getting groped by a stripper, let’s have breakfast,” Steve declared carrying over a huge platter of pancakes. Thor followed behind with another of bacon and sausage. An assortment of fruit and syrups already littered the table and Jane followed behind Thor placing two carafes of coffee on the table. Soon they whole team including Happy were digging into the food, and chatting.

“Yo Katniss,” Tony hissed tossing as raspberry at Clint, “what did you try last night, zap zap or poke poke?” he wanted to know.

“Seriously dude?” Clint asked in disbelief.

“What? I want to know,” Tony justified. Before anyone could say anything else Pepper cut in.

“Since you’re so hot on sharing, maybe I should tell everyone what we got up to last night, and your reaction to it,” Pepper said pointedly. Tony stared at her for a long moment, before sighing in defeat.

“Fine,” he muttered.

“What’s going on, did you all go out last night?” Jane asked in confusion looking around the table. The group burst out laughing and Darcy couldn’t help shake her head at her friend.

“Oh Janie, you really need to take off those science blinders sometimes,” Darcy chuckled.

“If you say so,” Jane capitulated with a shrug.

Clint leaned toward Darcy and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

“What do you say after breakfast we head back to our place and try out some of our other new toys?” he suggested softly.

“Deal, but I think this time we should test _**your**_ gag reflex,” Darcy purred back. Clint stared into her eyes for a long moment before standing up and tugging her out of her chair. Everyone watched in amusement as Clint hoisted her over his shoulder and strode out of the room without a word to anyone. As the rounded the corner they others heard a resounding smacking sound quickly followed by Clint’s voice.

“Mmmm, do that again,” he said. This was immediately followed by another smacking sound and Darcy’s laughter, sounds that only faded with the whoosh of the elevator doors closing.

“Huh, he never liked it when I did that,” Natasha mused.

“Maybe you hit too hard?” Bucky suggested grinning.

“You’ve never complained,” Nat pointed out.

“No, I haven’t. Gonna throw me over your shoulder like Barton did?” Bucky asked smirking.

“No, I’ll let Steve do it,” Nat said placing her mug on the table before rising to her feet and looking at Steve expectantly. Every watched wide eyed as Steve shifted uncomfortably for a moment before standing up, pushing his chair back and tugging Bucky to his feet. Bucky laughed as Steve did exactly as he was bid and hoisted the other man over his shoulder, silently following Natasha out of the room. Sure enough after they rounded the corner the rest of the team heard another smacking sound, this time followed by Bucky’s voice.

“Damn Stevie, do that again,” Bucky encourage with a moan.

The voices faded leaving Pepper, Tony, Bruce, Thor, Jane, Sam, and Happy looking at each other.

“Called it,” Sam said smugly.

“Well I have always said Rogers was a pain in the ass,” Tony snickered.

“Only if he’s doing it wrong,” Pepper and Jane said in tandem. Laughter exploded around the table once more, and breakfast continued. A few floors below the rest of the Avengers crew were having a very different kind of fun, breakfast forgotten entirely.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never been to NYC, so the stores I described don't exist. However they are based on ones I've been to in my area.


End file.
